FAQs
Will you tell me what to do?
No, I won’t tell you what to do, my approach is non-directional.
What does non-directional mean?
I don’t set the agenda for sessions, we collaborate on what feels right, with you firmly in the driving seat. I believe that part of the work is learning to trust yourself and listen to what comes up when you settle into encountering yourself when discussing your own life and experiences. I believe that this means that any change is much more long lasting – as it comes from you, not an external ‘authority’. It might be challenging from time to time when you might want me to tell you what to do, but bearing that tension can be a big part of our work together. At times it could perhaps not feel like it – but my not telling you what to do is in service of you and your process. What this doesn’t mean is that I’ll be a ‘yes man’ – challenging you from time to time when it’s of benefit to you will absolutely form part of our work.
I want a behavioural approach – something where I have actions to take away – can you offer that?
No I can’t, I want to be really upfront about that. That’s simply outside the scope of my training and also my personal philosophy as a practitioner, as I work in the humanistic tradition. I am also a relational therapist – I am anti the traditional ‘top down’ power dynamic between therapist and client, and try to work on an equal footing with clients. In my experience making therapy ‘successful’ contingent on someone changing their behaviour doesn’t serve that dynamic. There’s loads of fantastic behavioural practitioners out there that can offer that should you wish. That said, I do offer knowledge about body based approaches (nervous system regulation, laughter yoga, mindfulness and meditation) which I’d be happy to share with you for you to try outside of sessions.
I really want to change, will you make that happen?
That’s the million dollar question. I have witnessed great change in clients – through their process, supported and facilitated by me, but through the work they have done. By work, I don’t mean writing swathes about their life, excavating their soul and/or having ‘lightbulb moments’ – though they can occur. More generally, in my experience the work is done through a consistent commitment to interrogating their inner world – messy and painful and beautiful as it is. I’m afraid I can’t guarantee an outcome, (I would consider it unethical to tell you that I can) but am dedicated to collaborating with you as deeply and intuitively as I can.
Something that I have learned over time is that we may enter therapy thinking we really need to change aspects of ourselves, and as therapy progresses, we may find out what those changes we need to make are. However, we may also find out that there’s aspects of ourselves we are not able to change. Understanding and accepting that can be just as valuable as changing the things we can.
I find it difficult to speak and I’m scared of not knowing what to say – how can you help?
It’s understandable that it’s sometimes it’s hard to put things into words. If you struggle with knowing what to talk about, we can work on supporting you to tune into what’s important to you. We can use some body based approaches – seeing how you feel in your body and what comes up when you explore that. If music is a form of communication that’s helpful to you, you can play music in our sessions and we can explore what that brings up for you. I also have a sand tray with miniatures where you can create scenes/express yourself through a creative medium and we can discuss why you’ve expressed yourself in that way. I also have art supplies if you want to draw or write. I encourage you to use the space in a way that’s helpful to you.
Do you ask me to do homework between sessions?
No. What I might do is share some knowledge that I have with you about experiences you’re going through, and/or suggest you take notice of particular things in a reflective way between sessions – if you want that. I may make some optional suggestions for potential reading you could consider, or send on some body based exercises for you to try. But I won’t be asking you to do homework tasks. If that’s something you want to do, I’ll be happy to collaborate with you on what you think would be of use for you to do between sessions – but that will be a collaborative process, not dictated by me.
Can you diagnose me with a mental health condition or form of neurodivergence? Can you work with me if I have a diagnosis?
No, only clinicians are able to provide diagnoses. I can certainly work with people with diagnosed mental health conditions or forms of neurodivergence, and have worked with many. My approach always focuses on you as an individual, what your individual experience is, and so what we would do would be to explore what your diagnosis means to you. For some people, it’s a very validating experience and has helped them make sense of the challenges they have faced. For others, they don’t identify with how their difficulties have been categorised, and the impact of that can be explored. The bottom line is – I see a person, not a diagnosis and won’t put you in a box because you have one.
One thing to note is that if you are in an acute mental health crisis, with a high level of care required to keep you safe, it would be challenging for me to work with you during this crisis state. This is because I can only offer support in scheduled sessions and your needs may be greater than what I can offer.
Are you a Counsellor or a Psychotherapist? What’s the difference?
My Professional Diploma course was in Person Centred Counselling & Psychotherapy, so I could call myself either. Counselling is generally described as shorter term, working with a particular issue. (Though in practice, things are almost never a single issue.) Psychotherapy is generally seen as longer term, and perhaps working at a greater depth. In my experience as both a client and a practitioner – I’ve found that there is a negligible difference, it is all about the quality of the relationship. As with all the work I do, I try not to get hung up on terminology or categorisation. Call me whatever you want!
Counselling With Courtney 